Blog / Knowing your Anchor: Therapist speak on the journey towards finding your core of Strength

Knowing your Anchor: Therapist speak on the journey towards finding your core of Strength

30.03.2024 | Radha Kesavaram

What can help you hold your ground during those darkest moments of despair? 
When the going gets too tough to bear, what is it that can help you stay the course? 
Life is the greatest leveler as we earthlings know to be certain 
With each of us handed down our own fair share of ups and downs! 
And yet when darkness strikes, compelling many of us to lose our way and give up 
We notice a few managing to stay the course and even lead the way! 
An anchor becomes meaningful in moments of distress, defeat and uncertainty 
Including moments of achievement and jubilation; the emotional upheaval making this a tricky terrain to navigate  
In this article I intend to share insights on how each of us can embark on our own journey towards finding our anchor of strength and stability   
That perennial spring of unswerving faith and resolve within, that never dries up even in the harshest of summers! 
Building the Anchor: Brick by Brick 
Support systems have a truly special place in our lives. Friends. Family. Colleagues. Mentors. Everyone adding their indisputable value to your life. Yet, in the darkest moments of despair what can truly be a game changer is that undeniable voice of faith and calm and resolve within you that tells you that you shall not perish. You shall triumph no matter what!  
This journey is about building that reservoir of faith and strength in you. Brick by brick.  
Each brick represents  

Values that you stood by when you had to make those hard choices  
The Stand that you took in moments of crisis 
Perspectives amassed painstakingly from the wisdom of a zillion experiences 
Every bit of Evidence gained that you are ‘Good Enough’ to be deserving of Success 

Recognition of things that are worthy of your commitment and hold the potential for fulfillment, joy and purpose  

The trail begins here… let’s go! 
Am I lucky enough? 
How do I even begin this journey when I believe that courage and strength are traits monopolized by a lucky few?!  
Truth is, each of us have a rightful access to these traits. We know courage is often the toughest choice to make when all voices within and outside are screaming out loud for you to give up. To give in. 
There are reasons why choosing courage becomes particularly tough 

Change: making a new choice can feel threatening and scary when I have resorted to fear and avoidance as a coping mechanism for ages now 
Uncertainty: this terrain of courage is new to me and hence unfamiliar. The familiar feels safe and certain though unhealthy and deeply hurtful 
Control: resorting to the fear loop of running through the same thoughts helps me have a semblance of control 

Shadows of the past 
In spite of repeated attempts at trying to manage situations differently, your body responds with shivers and panic when stress knocks. Some of us literally freeze and go completely blank when faced with something difficult. This compels us to believe that we are helpless and powerless to make change.  
It can be helpful to recognize  

Courage need not be the absence of fear 
Rest assured. As you take steps forward with new perspectives and responses in place, the old patterns will gradually fade into oblivion 
As you witness increasing evidence of your efforts paying off, the new slowly becomes the default you resort to! 

The Roller coaster 
As you successfully take baby steps forward, there can be days and moments when you find age-old beliefs still wielding their power on your choices and behavior. Remember, this has no bearing on your prospects of success or how the future is going to pan out! The rollercoaster nature of the beginning of this journey is inherent to any new endeavor as you are very well familiar with. 
Here are a few insights that can be helpful 

Noticing old patterns can offer you the opportunity to extend compassion and support to yourself; these are reminders of trials you faced along the way; your efforts to persist in spite of insurmountable hardships 
New patterns gain strength with persistence, consistency and practice; every bit of effort is valuable and contributes to success; surrender to the process and your faith to keep going 

Taming the invisible 
Our most formidable opponents most often tend to be forces within. The harsh inner critic that sounds like the worst bully pulling you down in moments of calm and joy. Beliefs that limit you in embracing present opportunities to the fullest. Feelings of disappointment, shame and remorse that haunt you forever.  
Just because scars and wounds are not visible to the outside doesn’t mean the struggles should go unnoticed! Thoughts, memories, patterns that keep impacting your present deserve attention and need to be processed. Processed in a way that learnings can be taken forward.  
Know that you are not alone in this journey. Seek the help of loved ones and reliable, trained professionals, who can handhold you through this and help you work towards desired outcomes 
Anchor in the making 
Are there signs that can tell me I am making progress? How can I know that I am on the right path towards success? 

You increasingly seek validation from within and begin to rely more on self-direction 
You start defining success in your own terms and recognize beliefs and values that are no longer serving you well 
While continuing to put in efforts in your pursuit of excellence, you also find yourself pausing to enjoy the fruits of your labor; your accomplishments 
You recognize the journey is as valuable as the milestones you cross and destinations you reach 

Let me conclude with the following: 
You matter. 
Your journey matters. 
Every step matters. 
Lessons learnt when you stumble matter. 
Wisdom gained from success matters. 
This is your Life in the making. 
The Anchor is built day-by-day 
With every choice you make. 
It is your path, your fuel, your journey, and your destination. 
You got this. 
March on brave warrior 
See you at the summit!  
To learn how to reach our inner stregth and stability, reach our experts via the ‘Support’ and ‘Engage’ verticals for affordable and inclusive help!   
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 Image Credits - Unsplash   

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