Our experiences as children tend to have a lingering impact in many of our lives  

As we carry within us the wisdom of our present selves, we also have parts of ourselves, that remind us of this impact… 

This influences the way we look at the present, engage with the present, in our relationships, the way we manage our mental and physical health and set aspirations for life 

These often-unaddressed aspects of our selves, unresolved parts of our experience, unmet and unfulfilled needs we felt growing up, show up in ways unexpected 

Insecurity, loneliness, anxiety, lack of confidence, issues with addictions, self-defeating patterns… 

Our inner child symbolizes those wounded parts of us that need to be seen, heard, understood, unconditionally accepted, revered and healed  

In this article I hope to shed light on the importance of Inner Child Healing, the work within, that can set us up on a journey of understanding, nurturing, and celebrating all parts of ourselves that make up who we truly are and what we have potential for becoming… 

So, we can shift the narrative from that of barely surviving and existing to one of thriving, and living… 

Self-fulfilling Prophecies 

Judgments passed on us that we repeatedly felt as children, and soon one day we start believing them to be true 

You are not good enough. You are not smart enough. There’s no chance you will succeed. You are so flawed that it is shameful and the worst…You are not worthy of love 

And we go on to live lives conforming to these beliefs, fulfilling these prophecies…Here are insights that can help us address these prophecies seemingly set in stone: 

• Spending some time to recognize beliefs that have remained unchallenged, because they were passed on by people who were supposedly trustworthy – authority figures, caregivers, peers at school 

• Allowing yourself to get in touch who you really are, what your real values are, listening to yourself, and learning to trust that voice, so you can begin to understand someone you barely had time to sit with while fighting to stay afloat…yourself 

• Finally acknowledging your struggles, your victories, your perseverance to keep going, to keep moving forward, often in the dark and no one to keep company 

• Befriend new, healthier beliefs and perspectives you can now adopt to base your choices on, going forward 

World is dark and daunting 

Abuse at home. Friends and family who forsake you. Bullies at school. Experiences that taught you that life is difficult and brutal and painful. And that, it’s going to stay the same. In spite of your best efforts. 

That, you can never trust again. 

Here are insights that can come in handy as you struggle to engage with the present, managing the stranglehold of the past 

• Deeply hurtful experiences in the past can lead to us experiencing extreme emotions in the face of present-day triggers, so overwhelming that it compels us to believe we don’t have it in us to move forward 

• Constantly having to manage internal distress, makes an overly focus on self necessary, which then makes it hard to take in and accommodate other’s cues and needs 

• As you unpack and process the burdens of the past, you slowly learn to navigate Life’s process again, learning new lessons. To trust, to make friends, to work, to live, to love 

 

Self-proclaimed Prison Sentences 

Wounds that the past leaves behind, and the present triggers often. 

Rather than inspiring self-care and compassion, these wounds are used often as reminders and reasons to continue to punish ourselves, in order to fulfil those self-fulfilling prophecies that we spoke about earlier here… 

Here are some of the ways these self-proclaimed prison sentences tend to show up: 

• Discounting any self-effort or accomplishment 

• Being harshly self-critical for the minutest of slips or miscalculations 

• Impossible and unachievable standards you hold yourself accountable for 

• Staying in relationships that are unfulfilling and toxic 

• Being stuck in jobs, careers, pursuits that don’t serve your need for learning, growth, or progress 

• Refusing to consider dreams and goals believing you aren’t deserving of them 

 

Journey of Healing 

Inner Child work involves a journey of self-exploration, self-discovery, connecting deeply with your inner child and offering it healing, and nurturance. And for some of us, this could also mark the beginning of a journey of understanding, nurturing and celebrating all parts of you that make up who you are and who you want to be 

Here’s what this process entails: 

• Beginning to get in touch with parts of you that seek expression, those parts that get triggered often and seek your attention, in an unconditionally loving way without judgment 

• Giving yourself words of reassurance, words of affirmation that perhaps you wished to hear as a child. Offering yourself comfort when this can be challenging and overwhelming as a process to begin with 

• Fun treats, rituals, healthy, nurturing, loving relationships that you can invest in, build, create to continue to honor, nurture, and celebrate your inner child 

 

Let me conclude with this… 

Children we once were still breathe and live in us… 

Let’s listen to their cries and tears and tales of anguish when they reach out… 

Offer them our calm, loving presence so they can heal 

Offer them kind, loving words 

I see you, I’m proud of you, you have been so brave  

I’m not going to neglect you or leave you, I care about you  
 

it’s okay to feel what you are feeling and  

Your emotions are welcomed here any time.  

I shall always be here as your mentor, friend, and guide.  

 

‘If you or somebody you know can benefit from Inner Child work, please join us on our Inner Child Workshop held on Sunday, the 21st of July, ’24!  

In the meantime, if you or somebody you know is struggling with childhood trauma and needs to get in touch with a therapist, consider reaching our ‘Support’ and ‘Engage’ verticals for affordable and inclusive help!      

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