Ah, wedding season. The time of year when everything feels just a little too extra—extra flowers, extra dancing, extra butter in the dal, and, of course, extra opinions on why you’re still not married. 

 

It’s like there’s a cosmic alert sent to every rishta-hunting aunty the moment wedding invitations hit the WhatsApp family group. And before you can even post your annual "Shaadi vibes 😍" story on Instagram, the aunties are already strategizing. For them, your presence at a wedding isn’t about celebrating the happy couple—it’s about you being the next one in line. 

 

“Beta, when are we celebrating your turn?” 

 

If this sentence doesn’t send a shiver down your spine, you’re either married already or too young to feel the wrath of the shaadi-season interrogation squad. But for the rest of us—those who enjoy our lives without a spouse for now—it’s an unavoidable clash of cultures: your peace versus their obsession with making you “complete.” 

 

Why Is It Always Aunties? 

Here’s the thing: aunties come in three distinct species during the wedding season. 

 

1. The ‘I Have Just the Person for You’ Aunty 

“Beta, you won’t believe it! My neighbor’s sister’s son is perfect for you. He’s in IT, working in Canada—very successful.” 

Lady, I don’t even know what I’m having for breakfast tomorrow, and you want me to decide my forever based on your neighbour’s geography? 

 

2. The ‘Just Adjust’ Aunty 

“Beta, don’t aim too high. These days, no one is perfect. Just say yes!” 

Ah yes, because marital bliss starts with low standards. 

 

3. The Silent Judgy Aunty 

This one doesn’t say much but lets out a series of dramatic sighs while looking at you like you’re running out of shelf life. The emotional manipulation is strong with this one. 

 

So, How Do You Say No Without Becoming "The Family Disappointment"? 

Now that you know what you’re dealing with, let’s get to the million-dollar question: how do you politely decline without setting off alarms that make your family start googling ‘How to cast out a spinster spirit?’ 

 

Here are some tried-and-tested ways to navigate the situation: 

 

4. The ‘Work is My Life’ Excuse 

“Aunty, abhi kaam bohot busy hai, na. Promotion ke liye focus karna padega!” 

Which roughly translates to, “Aunty, so much work I have right now. Need to focus on my promotion.” This one works beautifully because aunties respect jobs—especially jobs that sound fancy. Add a sprinkle of career ambition, and you’re suddenly the CEO in their eyes. The downside? Prepare for follow-up questions like “Beta, how much are they paying you these days?” 

 

5. The ‘Health and Self-Discovery’ Card 

“I’m really focusing on myself right now, aunty. Mindfulness, gym, yoga—you know, it’s important to love yourself first.” 

Will this work? Absolutely. Will they understand? Not a chance. They’ll think “mindfulness” is some new dance trend, but at least you’ll have your peace. 

 

6. The Counterattack 

“Wow, aunty! I’d love to consider your suggestion, but why don’t you tell me more about it? Like, is the boy vegetarian? Does he snore? What are his long-term goals? What’s his stance on pineapple on pizza?” 

Watch as they awkwardly retreat when faced with your overly enthusiastic interrogation. They weren’t expecting you to turn the tables, and it’s hilarious every time. 

 

7. The Classic Ghosting Strategy 

The simplest option: smile, nod, and conveniently “forget” to follow up. Ghosting isn’t just for Tinder, my friends; it works wonders with aunties too. 

 

When All Else Fails, Remember This 

The truth is, no matter how carefully you craft your excuses, there will always be a “helpful” aunty trying to poke holes in your logic. But here’s a little secret: it’s not really about you. It’s just their default setting during the wedding season. If it’s not you, they’ll move on to the next "shaadi-worthy candidate". 

 

So the next time you’re cornered by a rishta-wali aunty, just remember to breathe, flash your best polite smile, and channel your inner sarcastic goddess. You’re doing amazing, sweetie. And if all else fails, grab another gulab jamun—it’s the small wins that keep us going. 

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