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Blog /Happiness Is In The Process And Not Always In The Destination!

Happiness is an unbound and limitless treasure we can surely cherish for a lifetime!

Sat Jun 15 2024|iDare Team


I request that readers who have opened this article visualize certain scenes with me as I narrate them. Imagine that you are on a train and traveling to a destination you are unsure of because this is the first time you have visited there. The destination will be exciting as it will be a discovery in your life. But how often have we closed our eyes and not looked at the beautiful journey but just waited for the destination? We don't do so because train travels are equally about the journey and the destination. We peep through the windows and look at the grand mountains, beautifully structured buildings, and exotic wildlife.  

 

So why am I saying this? Let's imagine our train journey as life; the destination can be any goal, achievement, or plan you may have for yourself. We all wait for the defining moment when we achieve our goals in life to feel happiness. But is happiness just about the destination? Or do we also enjoy, cherish and love our life along the way? We would have to explore this question, and the answer is surely a shift in our perspective. 

 

Defining Happiness 

 

Before we further explore the question, a simple question arises. What is Happiness? Happiness is generally defined as an emotional state characterized by joy, satisfaction, contentment, and fulfillment. While happiness has many different definitions, it is often described as involving positive emotions and life satisfaction. We all understand and define happiness differently. However, happiness is mainly about the positive feelings and the pleasure we derive from our lives. There are also certain prevalent myths about happiness we have always had, and they have been challenged and discussed below.  

 

Happiness and the various milestones of life 

 

Growing up, deadlines have defined all our lives. We are told we will be happy after completing a goal or achieving something. We are first told that completing school and college will give us happiness. Then the plan shifts to getting a good job and settling down. And the most forced perspective by society on us all is marriage and having children. Marriage and childbirth are considered the ultimate sources of happiness in society, especially for women. But the core aspect many of us fail to realize is that happiness is not a one-time accomplishment. Happiness is constantly exploring your inner self and doing what you truly love and what makes you happy. Happiness is a constant, conscious, and continuous process that depends on living life by your choices and cherishing all the moments that lead to peace, love, and happiness. 

 

Is Happiness Binary in Nature? 

 

Another perspective of Happiness is that we are either happy or not, denoting that when we are not happy, there is something wrong with us. This understanding makes happiness look like a switch, either on or off. But that’s not how happiness works. Happiness is not binary but a continuum. There are always days when we are happy, and some days we find it hard to even get out of our beds. In such instances, try making ourselves happier each day. Avoid the constant search for happiness and the thought that happiness would stay for eternity inside us. It's essential to look at happiness as a daily effort and that we all feel varied emotions throughout our life. Discarding our sadness and saying we should always be happy is toxic and doesn't validate our feelings and state of life. 

 

 

Is happiness always about external events and conditions? 

 

We constantly place happiness at the mercy of a future event. You may ask me, What is the problem with this perspective? The chief concern is that when we wait for an event or person to provide happiness, we start to give a lot of power to an external event. What if the external event doesn't happen the way you want it? Having such a framework will not be productive for us to find happiness. The happiness we feel each day is created by our personal efforts and we cannot depend on a future that is in itself uncertain. 

 

If happiness were the destination, wouldn’t reaching one goal be the grand prize to keep us delighted throughout life? But that's, not the case. The happiness after reaching the goal doesn't withstand for a long period. While certain life events do have a significant impact on us, especially on our emotions, the intensity is short-lived.  

 

All these points of view help us turn to an essential and central statement: If you weren’t happy yesterday, you could still be happier tomorrow. Being a little happier means you can focus on a few things at a time instead of every possible problem in life. Smaller tasks are more actionable and realistic. It might not instantly make you ‘happy’, but you’ll be moving in the right direction. Over a while, these small moments of happiness lead to large-scale changes in our lives. 

 

Ways to be happy 

 

But, how do we find happiness? This is the eternal question that we are all in search of. As we discussed earlier, when happiness is also about the journey, we can always find ways to bring happiness into our lives through small and realistic actions.  

 

  • Pursuing goals that you are interested in, particularly those focused on personal growth and community, can help in happiness. Research also suggested that such goals can increase happiness more than goals focussed on pursuing goals like gaining money or status.  
  • Start enjoying the truly happy moments rather than constantly focusing on achievements. 
  • Be mindful of the present, and its joyful moments  
  • When we have a negative outlook on life, we should constantly look for ways to reframe our thoughts more positively. Reframing negative thoughts isn't always about ignoring unpleasant events.  
  • Cultivating strong interpersonal relationships is essential to develop social support systems. Research has also found that solid relationships denote happiness in many instances. 
  • Regular Exercise is suitable for both the body and the mind. Physical activity improves mood and provides various other physical and psychological benefits. 
  • Writing the things you feel grateful for increases positive emotions and subjective happiness and improves life satisfaction. It's important to savor moments, and a gratitude list is a pleasant way to boost our mood and make us happy. 
  • Finding purpose means having life goals, direction, and meaning. It is about finding a goal you care deeply about that will lead you to engage in positive actions and work toward that goal. 

 

Happiness is an unbound and limitless treasure we can surely cherish for a lifetime! But it's just vital for us to find the key to it by extending gratitude, cultivating healthy relationships, being present, and enjoying the journey to the fullest! As a quote goes, “Happiness is not by chance, but by choice,” so let’s make more mindful and joyful choices! 

 

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