I am sure most of us reading this would have experienced comments and conversations that stereotyped being emotional. Being emotional is wrongly seen as equivalent to being weak and not logical or practical. It is assumed that people who think from their hearts make wrong decisions. And as much as I agree with taking our time before decision-making, I find it scary to witness the growing gap between ourselves and our emotions.  

I remember being called a “Cryer” when I was a kid, and today, I find it difficult to cry with the same ease as I laugh. When I was a child, it was easy to cry things out and be able to love again. But today, I need a separate room to cry because, unlike the child that I was, the adult me doesn’t feel comfortable crying in social situations. I fear being shamed for expressing my emotions of pain and hurt. I fear this because I see fewer people my age around me crying. I witness fewer people with their emotional cups full enough to support others. Everybody looks so burnout and busy that extending empathy and kindness toward adults becomes challenging. This also connects me to how we are brought up – our patriarchal parenting cultures and the times we live in – a time of uncertainty and insecurities.  

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Because we live in a patriarchal society and a developing country, we prioritize money-making and the people who make money. Money-making is significantly becoming an adult responsibility not limited to one gender. However, the modes in which the money-making systems operate favor one gender, one way of being – masculine. And this masculinity is often toxic and scarce of emotions because emotions are connected to feminity. Probably one of the most significant reasons why women look after care-work and men dominate the decision-making positions. And then, to save our lives from future pandemic situations, we are prioritizing money-making as an unhealthy coping mechanism. We work from home and spend most of our human hours working with machines. Our connection with toxic masculinity barely breaks. And sadly, it’s not affecting only men. Women are also experiencing a feeling of emotional unavailability.  

The reasons and effects of emotional unavailability can be more complex and deep than we understand or acknowledge. They are changing our hormones, affecting our and the next generations’ life spans, making relationships less fruitful and society more abusive.  

We are gradually becoming ignorant of our and other people’s feelings. And this doesn’t qualify for strength. No?  

I have begun prioritizing my mental health and staying in touch with my emotions. And guess what, it’s helping me make the best decisions in life!  

Help yourselves, too, with the help of a professional Counselor. Reach us for help and support through the ‘Support’ and ‘Engage’ verticals on our app. We provide affordable and quality psycho-legal services that aim to create safer and warmer spaces for everyone!  

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