Therapy Techniques  

As we learn more and more on mental health & well-being, it becomes important to be aware of certain tools and techniques that can be used in our daily life to take care of oneself. Since mental health includes our emotional & behavioral, social and cognitive well-being, it affects how we think, feel and act. While making healthy choices is something we always hear about a lot, it is helpful to be aware of what steps can be taken that can actually be beneficial for our well-being. While therapy is a professional space and is conducted by a trained person, knowing a few basic techniques that we can apply in our lives can surely be helpful.  iDare aims to create awareness on this.  

Guilt: Good or bad? 

I cannot count the number of times people have come to me to talk about their guilt and how they are unable to get over it. I myself have been in situations which have made me feel guilty for years even though there wasn’t anything I could do or even when I wasn’t the one at fault. Guilt can arise due to a number of factors. But are all of them bad? Is guilt an emotion that we shouldn’t feel? 

The answer lies in understanding the basics of it. In certain situations, guilt could be sign telling us to look closer at specific situations or people, and can help in repairing mistakes. So when does it become a problem? When we feel unable to let go of our want to control situations/people or when we assume responsibility for a situation.  

This kind of guilt no longer motivates us to make positive changes and sometimes gets out of that particular situation and be generalised to our entire identity which could mean instead of being remorseful of a particular behaviour, we may end up feeling bad about ourselves on the whole.  

The challenge is also that it can usually take quite some time to unload these feelings of guilt but it is possible to move past it. One thing I have observed time and time again in these situations is that these people have difficulty in establishing or upholding boundaries.  

Establishing boundaries 

Most of us aren’t taught how and when to establish healthy boundaries and that doing so does not make us selfish. I have seen multiple people constantly seeking reassurance of them not being a bad person to want to establish boundaries. This chiefly arises from how our society conditions to be agreeable and amiable all the time no matter the cost.  

And when the boundaries with people around us are unclear, they can give rise to feelings of guilt.  For example, we may feel guilty when trying to communicate our needs to others, or we may feel pangs of guilt when we don’t do what others ask. Establishing healthy boundaries involves making our expectations and clear. It establishes what behaviours you will accept from others and what behaviours others can expect from you.  

• Share personal information appropriately (not too much or not too little) 
• Understand your personal needs and wants and know how to communicate them 
• Value your own opinions 
• Accept when others tell you “no” and say “no” when needed 
• Prioritising your time and respecting others’ time 
• Do not overcommit  
• Not trying to change people or take care of their problems 
• Not being there for people at the cost of your mental health 
• Respecting and expecting people to respect personal space 
• Disagreeing with people kindly when you do not think the same way  

 

A boundary does not require an explanation or justification but at the same time, establishing boundaries also does not mean we do it disrespectfully or without compassion for others. The whole aim of setting a boundary is meeting a person with empathy but at the same time staying true to ourselves. And no, it doesn’t make us selfish to draw healthy boundaries.  

 

Please remember, these techniques are in no way a substitute to an actual therapy session. We would like to emphasize that if someone is struggling with their mental health and if it is affecting day to day life, it is imperative to consult a trained professional.  

 

If you or somebody you know needs any help to understand therapy techniques in depth or is stressed with issues related to mental health, consider reaching our ‘Support’ and ‘Engage’ verticals for affordable and inclusive help!     

 

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