Loss of a loved one. The ending of a relationship. 
Memories. Despair. The crushing weight of sadness 
The plethora of feelings that you have to contend with. Day in day out. 
Getting through the day and days to come feels daunting and impossible. 
Is there a way out? 
In this article I hope to share insights that can perhaps serve as lighthouses guiding you gently towards the shore as you embark on this journey across what seems like a sea of sorrow 
Setting sail 
It feels as if you have lost touch with reality. Numbness pervades every cell of your being. The heart and the eyes though seem to have a mind of their own as you see yourself shedding tears stemming from that seemingly perennial wellspring of sadness 
Most of us who set sail on this journey retell tales of denial and shock that characterize the narratives of our experience at the beginning. Navigating this terrain is the hardest as the seemingly lack of touch with the present; with everything that is happening around you, can feel scary and bizarre 
Here are a few pointers that can be helpful at this stage: 

Allow yourself the tender care and nursing that you’d extend to a friend in emergency care 
Refrain from making harsh demands on yourself about goals to be achieved; life can wait for you to pause and rest enough 
Allow yourself the healing presence of the company of your loved ones; people you can trust and feel safe around; those who are comfortable with your silence even for days on end 
Trust Nature’s timing for this phase to serve you well enough; nature is never in a hurry; trust the process 

Winds of change 
Slowly you may witness the scene within shifting. Barren numbness slowly giving away to signs of feeling. These waves might come with a force that astounds you. Feelings of rage. The unfairness of it all  
What do you do when the vehicle you have set sail on hits thunderous waves and raging storms? You hold tight to your boat knowing the boat was built not only to survive but thrive in these waters! 
Here are a few insights that can help you in this phase of your journey: 

Allow these raging emotions a welcoming space in your being; you have all the resources to make space for these feelings that seek expression 
What limits you and scares you is often the belief that you don’t have it in you to face these whirlwinds and thunderstorms; know that though boisterous in expression, these feelings strive to bring to your awareness things that you may need to address but have shied away from for ages 
Allow yourself to note the insights that emerge in your awareness once the storm begins to die down; invaluable learnings that can pave the way for more fulfilling experiences 

Rainfall 
Raindrops starting to fall on your face. These rain showers may last for several days perhaps. The time when feelings of sadness come to the fore. Waves of sadness within that come up without warning. With such force that it feels as if the tears might never stop!  
Fearing that these feelings are disruptive, we often try to suppress these feelings or numb them out. Yet, we both know this is just a futile exercise 
Here are insights that can help you tide over this phase: 

‘When we accept and embrace painful emotions, they don't overstay their welcome. They visit and then leave just as they came’ – Tal Ben Shahar 
Emotions serve an adaptive function, helping us process meanings from our experiences, that can light up the path ahead 
When you allow yourself to experience sadness and sorrow, you enhance your ability to experience pleasurable feelings such as relief, gratitude, contentment 

Sea of calm 
The waves seem calmer now. The cool gentle breeze blowing that feels like such a welcome change after all that thunder and storm. Days when you may wake up feeling things have slightly shifted within for the better. You may feel the strength to start taking baby steps to saying hello to Life again! 
Here are a few pointers for navigating this phase and the way forward: 

For those of us going through bereavement this can be a period of reflection on how best you can pay homage to the moments you shared with your loved one  
For those of us looking at new beginnings; the possibility of new relationships, this can be a period of casting away old patterns that are not serving you well; befriending new ones that can pave the way for a future you always had potential for 

 
Let me conclude with the following: 
My friend my warrior 
I know these storms can feel rude and relentless 
Please know my dear pal  
These feelings carry in their bosom lessons for a lifetime 
That can enrich your life in ways you may be unaware now 
March on dear one knowing 
You are not alone. You never are. 
 
Storms and thunder clouds are here to pass 
It will soon be dawn 
The rays of the sun heralding a new beginning 
An era of strength; resilience; renewed faith 
In yourself; in others 
And in the process we call Life 
 
All emotions come through the same pipeline. When you numb one out you end up numbing out the rest as well.
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