If there’s one thing I’ve learned about relationships, it’s this: space and communication are not mortal enemies. They’re not fighting for dominance in your love life. In fact, they can coexist, like chai and biscuits. But it took me a while to figure this out—and by “a while,” I mean a few awkward, chaotic relationships where I was absolutely the red flag. 

 

Yes, I said it. I was the red flag. Picture this: me, offended and sulking because someone I was dating asked for “space.” I mean, how dare they? Did “space” mean they didn’t love me anymore? Were they secretly plotting an escape route? My mind would spiral faster than a WhatsApp group chat during the wedding season. 

 

In my early dating years, I believed that love meant being inseparable. I thought “space” was just a polite way of saying, “I’m over you.” So, naturally, I would smother my partner with constant texts, calls, and “What are you doing?” interrogations. Romantic? Not so much. Exhausting? Oh, absolutely. 

 

Fast forward to my current relationship—a healthy one (thank God for growth). It was only here that I truly grasped the meaning of space. And ironically, the realization hit me when I dated someone who was just like me. This guy would text and call me constantly, to the point where I felt drained. Even when I asked for space, he’d get offended, just like I used to. It was like holding up a mirror to my own behaviour, and let me tell you, it wasn’t a flattering reflection. 

 

Initially, it wasn’t easy to admit that I had been the problem. But hindsight, as they say, is a mirror that reflects every cringe-worthy moment of your past. Looking back, I realized how insane it was to expect someone to be “on” 24/7. How could I want my partner to recharge my emotional battery when they barely had time to recharge their own? 

 

The epiphany came after a particularly exhausting week. I was feeling drained and snappy, so I asked for some “me-time.” No sooner had the words left my mouth than I froze. Wait, was I actually asking for space? Was I becoming the person I used to sulk over? But then it hit me: space wasn’t the enemy. It wasn’t a rejection or a red flag; it was a lifeline—a breather in the marathon of togetherness. 

 

Here’s the thing about space: it’s not about shutting your partner out. It’s about making room for yourself without throwing them into the void. And this is where communication comes in. Because while space lets you recharge, communication keeps the connection alive. You can have both; you should have both. In fact, space without communication is like going on a solo road trip and forgetting to tell your partner where you’re headed. Sure, you’re enjoying your drive, but your partner is probably freaking out because they think you’ve disappeared. 

 

I learned this the hard way, too. After my big “space epiphany,” I went all in on the me-time. I’d binge-watch Netflix alone, go for walks without checking my phone, and blissfully ignore my partner’s calls for hours. Guess what? It didn’t go over well. My partner felt disconnected, and I was back to being the red flag, just in a new shade. That’s when I realized: space is essential, but so is the little check-in text. A simple “Hey, just taking some time for myself, but I’m here if you need me” can work wonders. 

 

Think of it like this: space is the Wi-Fi connection, and communication is the password. You need both for things to work smoothly. Without space, your relationship feels suffocating. Without communication, it feels like the Wi-Fi is down—and let’s be honest, we all know how frustrating that is. 

 

The beauty of balancing space and communication is that it makes your relationship stronger. It’s not about being physically apart or emotionally distant; it’s about creating a rhythm that works for both of you. Sometimes, you need a day to recharge with your hobbies, your friends, or just yourself. Other times, you need to talk about your day, your feelings, or the weird things that happened at work. And it’s okay to do both without one negating the other. 

 

Now, I’m not saying I’ve mastered it all. There are still moments when I’m tempted to text my partner, “Do you even love me anymore?” if they take longer than five minutes to reply. But I’m learning. Relationships are all about progress, not perfection. 

 

So, here’s my advice to anyone who, like me, thought space and communication couldn’t coexist: start small. Practice asking for what you need—whether it’s a night to yourself or a quick check-in when your partner needs their own space. Remember that space isn’t a breakup rehearsal, and communication isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s okay to need both, and it’s okay to learn as you go. 

 

In the end, space and communication are like dance partners. They move together, creating harmony instead of chaos. And trust me, once you find that rhythm, your relationship will feel less like a battlefield and more like a beautifully choreographed routine—with just the right amount of solo performances. 

 

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