This story is about me. I grew up in a family as a pampered child. Once I entered adulthood, I had to manage life all by myself. This was when I realized the ups and downs that life comes with. It seems like a roller coaster, but we need to keep learning our lessons.  

 

Until I finished college, my life was usual; sort of "cool," as it is called. However, this too was not as cool as it should be. To pursue college was traumatic because my father didn't want me to study further. I didn't expect this from him. It hurt me. However, I had a supportive brother and mother. They supported me financially and emotionally. That is how I completed my first two years of college and got a diploma in Fashion Designing. Knowing the situation, I worked hard for my education and scored distinctions in all my semesters. This achievement makes me proud even after 13 years of completing my education. I enjoyed my time with friends after I finished college. However, I soon realized that it's time to get back to work, to look for a job. I wanted to pursue my career in the same field as my education, but it did not turn out well. I chose what I wanted, and still, I could not stay there long. I now had no plans as what I had planned didn't work for me. As a result, I moved to work in a call Centre. Working in call centres also became a big-time circus for me as I had to get my father and brother's permission to work the night shift. My mother, fortunately, was okay with me working in Call centres at night.  

 

After all my experience in Call centers, I am now an independent woman. But this independence came with lots of obstacles to face, which emerged from my married family life and affected my day-to-day activities. Things went well in the first few months of marriage. Like everyone, even I had the butterflies of happy moments in marriage, but only until I delivered my baby. After having a baby, being a mother became my topmost priority. My husband was a good father too. But he failed to realize the importance of my right over my body; he couldn't understand the biological changes I was going through. I did not want another baby and was tired by the end of the day to spend any intimate moments with him. I felt it was healthy to maintain physical distance for some time. But he did not understand any of this. He wanted another baby! I assumed he would respect my choice, but he didn't. This is where the mental and verbal abuse began.  

 

A few months after my baby's birth, I lost my central support system- my brother. This was a tough time for me. I expected my husband to understand this, but he didn't. Instead, he now felt that I have nobody to go back to. Seeing the condition around me, I planned to invest in my child's safe future from the first years of her life itself. My husband felt that this wasn't needed even when we were not well to do financially. He did not understand the importance of financial safety and security, which led to constant fights on economic issues. The abuse had now escalated to physical forms. Mine was a love marriage, and gradually, I found no love in my marriage. It felt like with time and growing abuse, I saw my husband's true face. I saw him as an arrogant man who did not care about me. He was often rude and violent towards me. All of this felt very disrespectful. I did not want my daughter to see me like this and learnt to be silent when being abused. I knew marrying him was my decision, but I decided to marry him, not to be abused by him. So finally, I moved away from him with my daughter. I have now applied for divorce.  

 

The relationship led to persistent stress in my life. He has no guilt for disrespecting me, my worth, my time, my mother, everything on the whole. He has no idea what I did for our relationship; he doesn't feel grateful for anything. I wanted to spend a lifetime with him, but it's been 3 years of marriage, and I think I am done with him. He showed me the worst part of him. Even after all this, thoughts of giving him the last chance do come to me because, at times, he behaves like he is very innocent. But I know this is manipulation. I don't want to lose myself; he has already lost me. I have myself. I lost nothing.  

 

 

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