Growing up in a patriarchal culture, where parents of daughters often experience societal pressure and prefer a male child, I often wondered what a conversation between the parenting couple would look like. Etaf Rum's 'A Woman Is No Man' inspired me to pen this down. I hope you can hear the poem's expressions, emotions and thoughts of a mother who passionately expresses grief and sorrow during the birth of her third daughter. The poem reflects the harsh reality many women face in various communities where daughters are undervalued and seen as a burden. 

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I'm sorry I couldn't find joy 

When you entered this world, my girl 

Your birth seemed to widen the void 

Between your father and me, a painful swirl 

 

The third daughter to emerge from my core 

Yet, a son was what they yearned for 

"I'm not sad," he claimed, denying his heart 

"But happiness eludes you too," I spoke, torn apart 

 

"We feed seven mouths each passing day 

Who'll nourish us when we grow old and grey? 

Daughters' weddings will deplete our store 

A son could have carried our name and more 

He'd replace my labour, continue my line 

But daughters, they say, are only a sign 

Of the toil they'll inherit, not much else to find; 

You should be content with the helps assigned" 

 

Hush now, who speaks of children so cold? 

Aren't they a treasure in this present to hold? 

"Indeed," he said, "but we live in uncertain days 

Our present is harsh, lost in life's chaotic maze 

And the future remains a blurred haze." 

 

This daughter, whose arrival I wish to celebrate 

Will vanish, customs dictate, sealing her fate 

I'll send her away, weakened by the fight 

Against norms imposed, a painful plight 

 

Yet, why do we wait for weakness to show care? 

Why not cherish our daughters with love so rare? 

My beloved girl, forgive the world's offence; 

It lacks the wisdom to value your essence. 

 

Female infanticide, a grim reality it's called 

But let's change that term, ensure our resolve 

To protect and cherish our girls, strong and brave 

Empowering them to rise above and pave.  

 

If you or somebody you know is seeking psycho-legal help around sorrow, grief, maternity benefits & rights, abortion rights, or is looking for an expert opinion around the themes mentioned in the poem, consider contacting our experts and support executives via the 'Support' and 'Engage' verticals available on the iDare mobile application.    

   

This post represents the author's personal views and experiences. iDare doesn't endorse or take responsibility for the views expressed.   

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