Self-compassion, yes—that’s what it feels like for me. It’s something I have had to learn the hard way. For so long, I believed that I had to have it all together starting from my career, my emotions to my personal life. There was this constant pressure to have it all under control, to act like everything was contained. Given my profession, I felt like the expectation or pressure to have it all together was even greater. But no matter how hard it was to accept I had to face the truth, I didn’t have it all together and I didn’t need to.  

At its core, the idea of “having it all together” seems like an illusion to me. It suggests that there is a singular or maybe fixed state of being that we must attain and maintain. But life is fluid, every day we are navigating emotions, tasks, relationships, and uncertainties. It’s through these cracks in our lives that empathy flows, and it’s within these cracks that growth happens. It’s not just the big life challenges, like job loss or a personal crisis, that create this feeling. It's the quieter, more persistent pressures. The ones that tell you should have your career mapped out by 30, that your personal life should be better than it is, or that you should be in control of your emotions. When we assume that being together means being flawless and we put ourselves in a constant battle against what it means to be human.  

Think about it, how often do you avoid sharing your true, unfiltered self because you think others will judge you for not having things figured out? How many times have you hidden your struggles and wiped your tears to say, "I'm fine," because the world expects that from you? It’s not about having breakdowns. It’s about allowing yourself to break free occasionally, to feel the full weight of your emotions, and to bounce back with the strength and flexibility of a tree that bends in the storm but doesn’t break. 

In a world that constantly pushes us to “do more”, “be better” and “have it all together”, self-compassion feels almost countercultural. But it’s a reminder that you don’t need to have everything figured out and that’s more than okay. It’s about allowing yourself that break, being kind to yourself when you’re at your lowest, recognizing that even in your most broken moments you’re still worthy of love and respect.  

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