Puberty wasn’t kind to me. As soon as I hit my teens, I started gaining weight. Eventually, I was diagnosed with PCOD, and later, thyroid issues joined the mix. By the time social media became a big part of our lives in high school, the idea that thin = beautiful was everywhere. 

Sure, I got compliments, but most felt like thinly veiled insults. “Oh, you’re so cute, only if you lost a little weight.” It was like saying, “You’re almost good enough, but not quite.” The message was clear—my body was the problem. 

Then, in my early twenties, body positivity hit the mainstream. “Love yourself as you are!” It sounded like exactly what I needed to hear. For the first time, I felt like I could stand in front of the mirror and say, “Yes, I’m beautiful!” But with time, something felt off. 

Body Positivity: A New Message 

When body positivity first came around, it was empowering. Finally, a movement that challenged the idea that only thin bodies were worthy of love. It was about embracing all body types, regardless of size, shape, or appearance. I latched onto it because, for the first time, I didn’t feel like I had to apologize for not fitting the traditional mold of beauty. 

It felt great to say, “I love myself,” especially after years of being told I should want to change. But over time, I started to wonder—was I really loving myself, or was I just telling myself that I should? Loving my body as it was made me feel like I had permission to stop trying to improve my health. I wasn’t working out as much or watching my diet because, according to body positivity, I was perfect the way I was. 

But here’s the thing: I wasn’t taking care of my body the way I needed to. I had PCOD and thyroid issues that needed attention, and I wasn’t doing myself any favors by pretending everything was okay just because a movement told me to love every inch of myself. 

When Body Positivity Didn’t Work for Me 

Don’t get me wrong—body positivity has its place. It helps push back against unrealistic beauty standards. But for me, it became an excuse to avoid taking responsibility for my health. I started thinking, If I love my body as it is, why should I change anything? 

Over time, I realized this mindset wasn’t helping me. Loving myself didn’t mean ignoring the fact that I needed to take care of my health. It didn’t mean I should stop striving to be the best version of myself, physically and mentally. 

Learning About Body Neutrality 

That’s when I came across body neutrality. Unlike body positivity, which pushes you to love your body, body neutrality encourages you to accept your body as it is, without obsessing over how it looks. The focus is more on how your body functions and less on its appearance. 

For me, this was a huge relief. With body neutrality, I didn’t have to love every part of my body every day. I could just be. Some days I feel good about how I look, and some days I don’t—and that’s fine. It’s not about unconditional love; it’s about respecting my body for what it can do. 

With this mindset, I started to make healthier choices. I exercised because it made me feel stronger, not because I needed to punish my body for not fitting into a particular size. I started eating better because I knew my body needed proper nutrition, not because I was chasing some idealized version of myself. 

Finding the Right Balance 

What body neutrality taught me was balance. I could accept my body as it was while still recognizing the need to take care of it. This approach didn’t mean giving up on improving my health; it meant focusing on how I felt rather than how I looked. 

Body neutrality allowed me to let go of the pressure to love every part of myself. I learned that I don’t need to force self-love to live a healthy, balanced life. Some days, I just exist in my body, and that’s enough. 

Finding What Works for You 

Body positivity works for many people, and for a while, it worked for me too. But over time, I realized that loving my body in a way that felt almost forced wasn’t helping me take care of myself. Body neutrality, on the other hand, gave me the freedom to accept my body while still striving to improve my health. 

In the end, it’s about finding what works for you. For me, body neutrality offers a healthier balance between acceptance and effort, allowing me to respect my body without the pressure of always loving what I see in the mirror. If body positivity works for you, great! But if you’ve felt stuck like I did, maybe it’s time to explore a more neutral path. 

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