Finding My Own Rhythm in the Festive Chaos 

 

 

For as long as I can remember, festivals in my family were a big deal. They came with the sound of clattering vessels in the kitchen, last-minute cleaning sprees, relatives confirming their arrival, and the endless checklist of rituals to get through. There was an unspoken script everyone followed, and tasks delegated like who would decorate the house, who would prepare which dish, who would visit whom first. The energy was intense and familiar, and while I was part of it, I rarely paused to ask how I truly felt about it all. 

 

Growing up, I often thought that the exhaustion and overwhelm that came with festivals were normal. After all, wasn’t that what everyone experienced? The rush to be cheerful, the need to please everyone, and the quiet guilt if you couldn’t keep up with the enthusiasm. Between the guests, the expectations, and the constant busyness, I barely had a moment to breathe, let alone enjoy. 

 

But everything changed when I moved out. 

The first year I lived on my own, I didn’t realize how different the festive season would feel. There was no one reminding me to buy new clothes, no long list of rituals to prepare for, no noise echoing through the house. The quiet was strange. For the first time, I had the freedom to decide what these days meant to me but also the unsettling discomfort of not knowing what to do with that freedom. 

 

Initially, it felt lonely. Festivals had always been about togetherness, even if it was chaotic. I missed the smells from the kitchen, the loud chatter, the familiar patterns. But slowly, I started noticing something else too and that was a sense of ease that I’d never felt before. I could wake up late. I could make my own version of celebration, even if it was as simple as making myself a good cup of tea, lighting a candle, or taking a long evening walk. There were no expectations to meet, no “shoulds” dictating how I was supposed to feel. 

 

That shift opened something in me. I realized how often I had been performing joy instead of feeling it. I had confused ritual with connection, and busyness with meaning. Moving away from home gave me the distance to see that much of what I did before was out of obligation, not choice. 

 

Over time, I began to rebuild my relationship with the festive season and this time on my own terms. I started calling the few people I genuinely wanted to connect with. I cooked one dish that felt comforting instead of ten that felt exhausting. Sometimes I spent the day reading, sometimes watching movies, and sometimes doing absolutely nothing. And strangely, in that quiet simplicity, I felt more festive than ever before. 

 

Of course, there are moments when nostalgia creeps in. When I hear songs playing in the distance or see families preparing together, I do miss that feeling and that busyness. But I’ve learned that missing something doesn’t always mean I want to go back to it. Sometimes it just means I’m remembering it with gentleness, while still being grateful for where I am now. 

 

Festivals, for me, have become less about doing and more about being. They’ve become reminders to slow down, to reflect on the year gone by, and to reconnect with myself. Some years, that means spending time with loved ones. Other years, it means solitude. But it’s always a conscious choice now, not a default pattern. 

 

What I’ve come to understand is that joy doesn’t need to be loud to be real. It can exist quietly in small rituals that I can create for myself such as a call to a friend, a walk in the evening light, music playing softly in the background. It can look like saying no to what drains you and yes to what nourishes you. 

 

This journey taught me that it’s okay to redefine what celebration means. It’s okay to choose rest over routine, connection over convention, and meaning over performance. Sometimes, in the space we create away from expectations, we finally find the freedom to experience the season not as something we’re supposed to live up to, but as something we can finally live within. 

 
Team iDare wishes you a very happy Festival season!  
We are here to support you through life’s journeys and anything you may be going through, reach out to us on our app verticals like Engage and Support for affordable, inclusive and safe support! 

 

Image Credits: Pexels