Love Bombing: When Romance Turns into Manipulation
It Starts Like a Dream…
They sweep you off your feet with grand gestures, constant attention, and endless compliments.
They say you’re “the one.” That they’ve never felt this way before.
The intensity is intoxicating — it feels like everything you ever dreamed love would be.
But deep down… something feels off.
That’s love bombing for you: manipulative behaviour disguised as romance.
Let’s unpack this.
What Is Love Bombing?
Love bombing is a tactic used to overwhelm someone with excessive affection, attention, and gifts.
While it might look like passionate love on the surface, it’s often a form of manipulation aimed at gaining control.
The Goal?
To make you emotionally dependent, blur your ability to see red flags, and hook you in fast — all under the guise of love.
It’s hard to spot when you're in it because — let’s be honest — who doesn’t want to be loved so fiercely?
But make no mistake: love bombing is not love. It’s control.
Signs You’re Being Love-Bombed
Wondering if your whirlwind romance is real or manipulative?
Here are key signs to watch out for:
1. It’s Moving Too Fast
They’re already talking about “forever” on the second date.
Calling you their soulmate.
Showering you with “I love yous” before you’ve even caught your breath.
It feels magical — but it’s designed to skip over trust-building and get you hooked.
2. Constant Texts and Calls
It’s 10 AM and you’ve already received 27 “good morning” messages.
While attention feels good, excessive communication is often about keeping your focus locked on them.
3. Over-the-Top Gestures
Surprise vacations. Lavish gifts. Love notes in the sky.
Romantic? Maybe.
But often it’s a distraction from deeper issues or incompatibilities.
4. Boundary Pushing
They get upset if you don’t reply right away.
They guilt-trip you for needing space.
“I just love you so much, I can’t help it.”
That’s not affection — that’s manipulation.
5. The Switch
Once they feel they’ve “got” you, everything changes.
Compliments turn into criticism.
Affection turns into control.
And you’re left wondering what happened to the person you first met.
Why Do People Love-Bomb?
Love bombing is often linked to narcissistic tendencies or emotional immaturity.
The motivation?
-
A desire for control
-
A deep need for validation
-
An unconscious fear of abandonment
It doesn’t excuse the behaviour, but it’s important to know:
Love bombing is never about you. It’s about them.
How Love Bombing Affects You
The aftermath is messy.
You may feel:
-
Emotionally drained
-
Confused about what’s real
-
Like you’re constantly second-guessing yourself
It creates a toxic push-pull cycle that becomes addictive and hard to leave.
This. Isn’t. Love.
Love doesn’t make you feel small, anxious, or unsure.
How to Protect Yourself
If you suspect you’re being love-bombed, here are actionable steps to regain your clarity and power:
1. Slow Things Down
Hit pause.
Real love respects your pace. Don’t rush into feelings or commitments.
2. Set Boundaries
Start small — limit texting, take space from intense gestures, and see how they respond.
Healthy partners will respect your boundaries. Manipulators won’t.
3. Talk to Trusted Friends
When you’re inside the bubble, it’s hard to see clearly.
Get outside perspective from people who know and care about you.
4. Trust Your Gut
If something feels off, it probably is.
Are you walking on eggshells? Feeling overwhelmed?
Listen to what your intuition is trying to tell you.
5. Seek Professional Support
Therapists can help you understand the emotional confusion love bombing causes.
They also support you in breaking patterns and rebuilding boundaries.
Love Shouldn’t Feel Like a Tidal Wave
Let’s be clear:
Love isn’t about constant attention or dramatic gestures.
Real love:
-
Grows over time
-
Respects your boundaries
-
Builds trust
-
Makes you feel safe, not overwhelmed
If your relationship feels like a tidal wave — thrilling at first but leaves you gasping for air — it’s time to step back and reassess.
You Deserve Healthy Love
Recognizing love bombing is tough.
It often means letting go of something that felt magical.
But choosing to walk away doesn’t mean you’ve failed at love.
It means you’ve chosen yourself.
And remember this:
You are worthy of love that doesn’t manipulate you.
That doesn’t confuse you.
That doesn’t leave you questioning your worth.
You deserve a love that feels like home — steady, honest, and nourishing.
Need Someone to Talk To?
If you or someone you know is struggling and needs help,
consider reaching out to our Support and Engage verticals for affordable and inclusive mental health support.
Like our content? Please support us by sharing and up-voting!
Image Credits: Unsplash