Understanding Ourselves and Our Children: A Journey Inward

As we traverse through life in various roles — as a mother, teacher, partner, or even just a "liver," as Orry would put it — we often delay embracing our unique, idiosyncratic roots. Each phase, each role, invites a different part of us to the surface. In those moments, we may get caught up in the inferences we draw from the outcomes of certain events — be it success, silence, or even failure. And all too often, we can be hard on ourselves, or others, for these interpretations.

To be with someone — in any capacity — we must first spend time understanding how we are with ourselves. Why do silences feel awkward? Why do we crave structure when others may find it overwhelming? Why, despite our differences, do we still seek connection and community?

Awareness of these subtle patterns can deepen how we relate to ourselves and, in turn, how we relate to those around us — especially the children in our lives.

This Week's Exploration: Questions to Ask Your Child After School

Connecting with children doesn't always require grand gestures. Sometimes, it's as simple as asking the right questions at the right time. These questions not only show interest in their day but also help them reflect and build emotional awareness.

Try asking:

What did you learn today?
What made you laugh or smile? Did anything funny or silly happen?
Who did you sit next to at lunchtime? What did you talk about?
Who did you play with during break? What did you play?
Did anything make you feel sad or angry today?
What's something kind or helpful you did for someone else?
Who had the best lunch or snack? What was it?
Is there something you noticed about a classmate or teacher that you hadn’t before?
Did you enjoy your lunch? Do you have any special requests for tomorrow’s lunch that I can try to make?
What’s one class rule you don’t really like or wish didn’t exist?
Did anyone get in trouble today? (Try avoiding names to encourage empathy over gossip.)
Did you notice anyone who needed help or support? What did you do?
What’s one thing you felt proud of today?

These simple yet thoughtful questions can help create a bridge between a child’s internal world and yours. They open up pathways for empathy, trust, and better communication.

Rooted in Reflection

At iDare, we believe that these conversations — with ourselves and with others — matter. Each question, each pause for reflection, is an invitation to return to your core self. We hope these regular articles serve as gentle guides, helping you explore your philosophy of life, your motivations, your patterns, and your often-overlooked gifts.

You are not too much. In fact, what you carry within might just be what the world needs right now.

If you or someone you know wants to explore mental health more deeply or is navigating stress, consider reaching out to our ‘Support’ and ‘Engage’ verticals for affordable and inclusive help.

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