Therapy Techniques for Everyday Life

This Week: Understanding and Managing Anger

As we learn more about mental health and well-being, it becomes essential to be aware of tools and techniques that support our emotional, cognitive, and social health. Mental well-being influences how we think, feel, and behave—and while we often hear about the importance of making “healthy choices,” it helps to know what specific steps we can take to care for ourselves.

Although therapy is a professional service provided by trained individuals, understanding and using basic techniques in our daily lives can be deeply empowering. At iDare, we aim to build awareness around such techniques—starting with one of the most misunderstood emotions: anger.

Let’s Talk About Anger

Anger is often perceived as a dangerous or negative emotion—something to hide, suppress, or avoid. Personally, I spent 27 years repressing anger so effectively that I struggled to access it, even in situations where anger would have been a natural response.

This kind of repression often starts early. Many of us are conditioned to believe that anger is “bad,” and expressing it means hurting those we care about. But over the years, even as someone from the field, I had to unlearn these ideas and reframe anger for what it truly is—a valid, necessary emotion.

Why Anger Matters

Anger is like any other emotion. The issue isn’t in feeling it—it’s in how we express it. Unhealthy expressions of anger can damage relationships, harm ourselves, and lead to regret. But healthy expression? That’s where transformation begins.

Anger helps us:

Recognize our boundaries
Assert ourselves when those boundaries are crossed
Tune into what’s really important to us

Despite the fear around anger, it serves a purpose. And rather than trying to erase it, we need to learn how to work with it.

Strategies to Diffuse Anger

Using the Body to Express, Not Suppress

Anger is deeply physical—it activates what’s known as a motor program, or the body's instinctive urge to fight or defend. This often results in either verbal outbursts or physical aggression. However, this energy can be redirected through somatic approaches, which focus on safely releasing that tension from the body.

Here are a few simple techniques you can try:

Wall Push-Ups: Push against a wall with all your strength until you feel fatigued.
Fist Clenching: Clench and unclench your fists repeatedly until the tension starts to dissolve.
Physical Activity: Engage in brisk walking, running, boxing, or any form of exercise that moves the energy.
Plank Pose: Hold a plank for as long as you can—focus on the burn and the release.

A Note on Timing

These strategies are most effective when used after distancing yourself—even briefly—from the person or situation triggering the anger. Simply walking away is not enough if you go on to suppress your feelings with distractions. These techniques help you feel and release the anger—without causing harm to yourself or others.

Check in with yourself after trying any of these methods:

Has the intensity of your anger shifted?
Are you feeling more grounded or clearer?

If the anger persists or seems tied to deeper emotional patterns, it may signal the need for additional support from a mental health professional. And yes, passive aggression is also a form of unhealthy expression and requires conscious work toward healthier communication.

Therapy Techniques Are Supportive, Not Substitutes

Please remember: these strategies are not replacements for therapy. If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health or facing challenges in day-to-day life, it’s vital to consult with a trained professional.

At iDare, we believe in accessible and inclusive support. You can explore our Support and Engage verticals to find affordable mental health services tailored to your needs.

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