Starting with Feeling Your Feelings

As our understanding of mental health and well-being continues to grow, it becomes important to equip ourselves with basic tools that can support our emotional, cognitive, and social wellness in everyday life. While therapy is a professional space guided by trained experts, familiarizing ourselves with a few simple techniques can offer meaningful support in our self-care journeys.

At iDare, we aim to create awareness and accessibility around mental health—starting with this fundamental question:

How Do You Feel Your Feelings?

Take a moment. Really think about it:
How do you actually feel your feelings?

Most of us confuse thinking about emotions with actually feeling them. For instance, when asked, “Where do you feel happiness or sadness in your body?” many people find themselves unsure. This is not uncommon—we’re often not taught how to feel.

When I began therapy, my therapist would ask me a question every time I said, “I’m feeling ___.” She would say, “Where?”

And for the longest time, I had no answer.

Getting Out of Your Head—and Into Your Body

A key practice my therapist introduced was body awareness. She would ask me to identify where I was experiencing physical sensations connected to my emotions. At first, this felt absurd—I couldn’t sense anything at all.

But gradually, I began to notice small signals:
“I feel something weird in my stomach.”

With her support, I learned to describe these sensations: Was it tight? Was there a flutter? A dull ache? This awareness helped me finally begin to sit with my feelings—not just label them intellectually, but truly experience them.

This Practice Is a Lot Like Meditation

Sitting with your feelings can feel uncomfortable, unfamiliar—even frustrating. That’s because we’re conditioned to avoid discomfort, often reaching for distractions like food, screens, substances, or self-criticism.

But this practice is similar to meditation, where the focus is on staying in the moment and observing what arises—especially within your body.

A simple way to begin:

Close your eyes and scan your body.
Start from your feet. Ask:
“Can I feel anything in my toes, calves, knees?”
Use descriptive words: Tense, tight, relaxed, throbbing, rather than vague labels like bad or terrible.
Avoid judging what you find. Just notice.

The goal is to be curious, not critical.

The Two-Part Process: Identify, Then Sit With It

Identifying a feeling is only the first step. The harder part? Sitting with it.

This doesn’t mean you have to endure overwhelming emotions without support—but it does mean allowing the feeling to exist, even for a few minutes, without rushing to escape.

“Yes, I am feeling this.”

This act of validation can be incredibly powerful. Emotions often carry messages. When we notice and name them, they don’t need to scream for attention. Many times, they begin to soften, simply by being acknowledged.

Important Reminder

This technique is not a substitute for therapy. If mental health concerns are significantly affecting your daily life, we strongly encourage you to consult a trained professional.

Need Support?

If you or someone you know is feeling overwhelmed or curious to learn more about therapy techniques, reach out to iDare’s Support and Engage verticals. We offer affordable, inclusive, and confidential mental health support.

Like what you read? Show us some love by sharing or upvoting this post!
Image Credits: Pexels.com