Reclaiming Your Voice: The Power of Choice Amidst Learned Helplessness

Have you ever felt unheard?

Have you ever felt like no matter how hard you try, nothing seems to change?
Like your voice is lost in a world that just won't listen?

This feeling isn’t random — it’s what psychologists call Learned Helplessness, a concept first introduced by Martin Seligman and Steven Maier in the late 1960s.

A psychological state that develops when we repeatedly go through uncontrollable and aversive events, where our needs are constantly compromised. Our voices unheard. Suppressed even.

Leading us to believe we cannot influence or change our circumstances, after repeated experiences of powerlessness.

Over time, this becomes a mental trap — one that robs us of confidence and agency, even when new opportunities arise.

As a Person-Centred Therapist, a key part of my work involves helping clients reconnect with their sense of agency and re-establish their self-identity.

Through this article, I aim to offer empowering insights to help you reclaim your voice and harness the power of choice—especially during those moments when surrendering to the weight of it all feels like the only option left.

The Weight of the Past

Our past experiences can often impact our ability to make choices and decisions in the present — and the way we view situations now.

Childhood wounds. Abusive relationships. Crushed dreams buried beneath others’ expectations.
These experiences tell a haunting story: No matter what I do, nothing will change.
And slowly, we begin to believe it.

Redefining Failure

When our initial efforts in our pursuits don't lead to expected outcomes, we often label them as failures — and sometimes, we label ourselves as failures.

The pressure of managing expectations, both our own and those imposed by others, fuels the turmoil within.

This struggle intensifies when the choices we’ve made — a field of study, a job, a career path, or a relationship — start to feel misaligned.

What once felt right now feels distressing.

And the self-doubt creeps in: Am I even capable of making the right choices?

The Fear of Judgment

Fear of being judged, criticized, or even ridiculed — a main reason why many of our aspirations and choices fail to see the light.

Fear of being seen as "different" — when our choices don't align with the norm.

And to avoid this discomfort, we compromise on our ideals, silence our voices, and suppress our needs.

Over time, this self-silencing becomes habitual — a way of life.

Way Forward: The Power of Choice

Reclaiming your power of choice involves:

Unlearning the helplessness you’ve absorbed from past experiences
Challenging the belief that failure defines you
Remembering that your worth is not tied to others’ validation
Connecting with your inner voice – that quiet but steady gut whisper

Recognizing that you can practice courage and act — even when fear and doubt linger.

Let Me Conclude With This…

Reclaiming your power takes a while.
A bit of effort and patience.
And support from trusted ones, even.

Rest assured, every step you take:
To unlearn old patterns,
And embrace new perspectives,
Puts you right back on track — not just with life, but with your life.

You have a Voice.
You have The Power of Choice.

And as you learn to wield this power,
Listening to your heart,
You are born anew.

So, you can live a life you truly have potential for…

Cheers, mate! You got this.

Need Support?

If you or somebody you know is struggling with something difficult and needs to get in touch with a therapist, consider reaching our ‘Support’ and ‘Engage’ verticals for affordable and inclusive help.

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