“Log kya kahenge?”

A line most of us have heard. 

Sometimes it’s said with care, sometimes to mock, and sometimes simply because it’s what generations have always said. Yet this one sentence, though small, has the quiet power to decide the way we think, act, and feel about ourselves.

And this is exactly where the journey of pulling up or pulling down begins - not in big dramatic moments, but in these tiny daily thoughts and words, both within us and around us.

At iDare - we often see that most pain, confusion, and self-doubt in people come not from sudden shocks but from these daily invisible pulls that slowly shape how one sees life, others, and oneself.

What Does ‘Pulling Up’ Feel Like?

Pulling up, whether by someone else or by your own mind, feels like a gentle hand on your shoulder when the world feels heavy. It does not push you to the top overnight. Instead, it says - "Take your time, but don’t stop."

In relationships, pulling up could look like a friend who listens without judging, a partner who says, “I believe you can do this” when you hesitate, or a colleague who gently reminds you of your skills when you start doubting yourself.

Within yourself, it could be as simple as saying:
"I failed, but I can try again."
"I feel scared, but I’ll still take this small step."

Pulling up builds strength slowly, like pouring water into a dry plant every day until it stands tall again.

What Does ‘Pulling Down’ Feel Like?

Pulling down is heavy, silent, and often unnoticed. It happens in the quietest moments when someone mocks your ideas, dismisses your feelings, or makes you feel ‘less’. Eventually, they’re pulling themselves down too.

Sometimes it happens in your own head:
"I always mess things up."
"I am not meant for success."

This voice, whether coming from others or from within, makes you shrink a little more each day. Like wearing shoes two sizes small - you could walk, but painfully, awkwardly, and not for long. Eventually, the pain wins and you sit down, too tired to move. You might even lose confidence, start feeling vulnerable about your own self, might start criticizing yourself more than ever.

An Analogy to Understand This Better

Imagine you are trying to fly a kite.
Pulling up is like holding the thread gently, letting the wind lift the kite higher, adjusting the string with care, trusting the sky and the breeze.
Pulling down is like tugging hard on the thread, forcing it, or keeping it tied to the ground. The kite can never rise then - no matter how strong the wind.

In the same way, a person cannot rise if someone is constantly pulling down their spirit, confidence, or dreams. And neither can you soar if your own thoughts are heavy with fear, self-doubt, or guilt.

Riya’s Story - A Mirror to Many Lives

Take Riya, a 29-year-old professional. She dreamed of starting her own online business - creative, simple, full of hope. But every time she spoke about it at home, her partner would laugh.

"Really? An online store? Who do you think you are? You’ll fail."

At first, she protested. Later, she grew quiet. And soon, that outside voice turned into an inside belief. She began thinking, "Maybe they’re right. Maybe I’m not made for this." The kite string in her hand was being pulled down - both by her partner and by herself.

But then one day, over a simple chai with an old friend, came a moment of quiet pulling up.

"You used to dream so big. What happened? I always thought you’d start something amazing," the friend said.

That sentence stirred something old and alive in Riya’s heart. For the first time in months, she felt the string loosen. The kite could rise again, gently. She sought help - from someone whom she could lean on to, and share her vulnerable self and be heard - the path was hers to choose. Over time, she learned to gently pull herself up. The fears didn’t vanish overnight, but she began taking small steps again.

A year later, her small business went live. Not because life suddenly became easy, but because she chose to hold the thread differently.

Why This Difference Matters Deeply

Pulling up or pulling down - this choice changes everything.

In relationships, pulling up builds trust, respect, and safety. Pulling down plants fear, hesitation, and distance.

Within yourself, pulling up builds confidence, hope, and action. Pulling down creates anxiety, sadness, and stillness.

The problem is - most of us do this unknowingly. Parents who keep warning instead of supporting. Partners who discourage in the name of care. Friends who mock instead of inspire. Even our own minds repeat old fears because they feel ‘safe’. But being safe is not the same as being happy.

This awareness - of when we are being pulled down or pulling others down - is the beginning of change.

What Are You Choosing - For Yourself and For Others?

Think about it. 

When you speak to yourself - do you lift or lower your spirit?
When you speak to others - do you encourage their courage or their fear?

These are not small questions. They shape lives.

If You Feel Stuck - Choose to Reach Out

At iDare, we understand these silent patterns. 

The weight of words, the power of beliefs, the gentle rebuilding of self-worth. Whether you choose therapy, counseling, or coaching - the right support can help you slowly loosen the string that holds you down.

You don’t have to stay stuck.

Are your thoughts pulling you down or pulling you up?
Are your relationships lifting you or quietly holding you back?

Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost.
(The story isn’t over yet, my friend.)

Maybe your new chapter starts with this question.

If you wish to explore this deeper, reach out to us. A gentle conversation could be the beginning of a lighter, freer tomorrow. 💙

If you or somebody you know is struggling with something difficult and needs to get in touch with an expert, consider reaching our Support and Engage verticals for affordable and inclusive help!

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