Facing Sudden Challenges and Change

A sudden challenge at work. Changes seeping into your relationships. Feelings, seemingly new, that come up from nowhere, making you wonder — do I know myself enough anymore?!

How does one stay intact and even emerge successfully in the face of change? Is there a failure-proof plan we could adopt, when these sudden curveballs threaten to render us helpless, with no room perhaps for hope?

This article sheds light on insights I have observed as a therapist, benefiting numerous clients’ lives as they wrangle with change disguised as challenges.

Also, I want to introduce a skill that is inherent to success in navigating change but hasn’t perhaps received sufficient limelight so far — psychological flexibility.

Birth of a Skill

As they say, necessity is the mother of invention! Change often calls for resources and skills that you may have never harnessed before.

Psychological flexibility, in simple terms, means one’s ability to adapt to a variety of different situational demands when doing so is useful for living a meaningful life.

Here are a few pointers to help build this invaluable skill when confronted with change that often knocks you off your feet:

When fear compels you to question your ability to succeed, ask yourself:
- What change does this call for within myself so I can address this in the best possible way?
- Am I only thinking of the worst possible scenario(s)?
- Are there options that I am not considering still?
- How does success in this venture look like for me?
- Are there others’ goals, feelings, or opinions I need to take into consideration while defining success?
- Are there people and resources I can rally by my side to improve my chances?

Braving the Uncertain

An important element of psychological flexibility is learning to embrace uncertainty.

Change often involves an uncertain path ahead, with less predictability around the route or outcome. Here are some insights to help you embrace uncertainty:

What do I fear losing the most in embracing change?
What is a likely outcome I’m struggling to come to terms with?
Are there limiting beliefs holding me back?
Are there unrealistic or unreasonable expectations I’m holding myself up against?

Striking the Balance

Psychological flexibility does not mean compromising your values or merely succumbing to others’ demands.

Instead, it involves taking an honest look at:

Your own values, standards, and expectations that have served you well and that you want to retain.
Discarding those that are no longer relevant or essential.
Considering new goals, outcomes, and aspirations you wish to set going forward.
Adopting new beliefs and perspectives to help achieve these goals.

There’s great value in knowing your core values while maintaining the willingness to learn and adapt as you move forward.

Spoiler Alert: Fear and Anxiety

Emotions such as fear and anxiety often spiral up in the face of change, making psychological flexibility a hard ask.

Recognizing the adaptive roles they play in our lives can help us accommodate their presence, even in the best situations.

Here are some helpful guidelines:

The goal need not be an anxiety-free or fearless existence.
Being psychologically flexible does not mean eliminating fear, self-doubt, or anxiety.
The familiar can feel safer, even when it hasn’t served you well. Change, even if beneficial, can look intimidating.
Courage does not imply the absence of fear but the commitment to what’s important despite fear.

Conclusion: Practice and Patience

Like any skill, psychological flexibility requires practice and patience.

You will eventually master it.

Most importantly, remember — you’re not alone on this journey.

There are trusted resources and experts available to help in times of need.

Cheers, mate! You got this.

If you or someone you know is going through something difficult and needs to get in touch with a therapist, consider reaching out to our ‘Support’ and ‘Engage’ verticals for affordable and inclusive help!    

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