Exploring Our Roots: Questions to Ask Your Father

As we traverse through life—as mothers, teachers, partners, or simply, as Orry puts it, “livers”—we often put off embracing the parts of ourselves that are most idiosyncratic, raw, and rooted.

Through different roles and phases, it’s easy to get caught up in the inferences we draw from experiences—whether they’re compliments, rejections, or even silences. In these moments, we may become overly self-critical or place undue expectations on others.

But to truly connect with someone—whether in love, friendship, or family—it becomes essential to first know how we are when we’re by ourselves.

Why Self-Awareness Matters in Our Relationships

This kind of self-awareness doesn’t require grand epiphanies. Sometimes, it’s as simple as reflecting on why:

Silences feel awkward and need to be filled
Planning gives us peace even when others find it overwhelming
Being around others feels necessary, despite our unique quirks

Because no matter our differences, we remain—at our core—social beings, wired for connection and understanding.

This Week’s Reflection: Questions to Ask Your Father

Building emotional intimacy with a parent—especially a father figure—can be a powerful and healing process. Whether your relationship with your father is warm, distant, or somewhere in between, asking intentional questions can open doors to understanding both him and yourself better.

Here are some thoughtful prompts to begin with:

When was the moment you felt most proud of me?
What was an important life lesson you learned at my age?
What has your marriage taught you?
Is there an experience you’ve always wanted to share with me, but haven’t yet?
Is there anything you would have done differently as a father?
What’s your favorite memory of us spending time together in my childhood—and why?
Is there a story from your own childhood that makes you happy when you think of it?
What’s been the hardest thing about being a father?
Do you have any regrets or moments where you wish you’d taken a different path? What did you learn from those?

These questions aren’t just about collecting stories—they’re about reconnecting with lineage, emotion, and perspective. Sometimes, they lead to profound insight. Other times, they simply let the person feel seen and heard.

A Gentle Reminder

We hope that through this weekly series, you’ll be encouraged to delve deeper into understanding your roots, your values, and the unique gifts you bring into the world.

Often, those traits we dismiss as “too much” are exactly what the world needs more of—vulnerability, introspection, and courage.

Need Support?

If you or someone you know is navigating mental health challenges or would like help in understanding emotional well-being more deeply, we invite you to explore iDare’s Support and Engage verticals. We’re here to offer inclusive and affordable care for all.

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