Exploring Feelings of Deficiency

Reframing Lack as a Path to Learning and Wholeness

As we move through life — in roles as a mother, teacher, boyfriend, or simply a “liver,” as Orry would put it — we often postpone accepting the quirks and patterns that make us who we are.

What does this mean? As we navigate different phases, it’s easy to get caught up in interpreting outcomes — successes, silence, praise, rejection — and attaching them to our worth. These inferences can shape how we see ourselves and how we respond to others. Sometimes, they become the lens through which we view everything, making us unduly hard on ourselves or those around us.

Knowing Yourself When You’re Alone

To be with someone — in any capacity — it’s vital to know who we are when we’re not performing a role.

That can mean:

Understanding why silence may feel awkward and needing to fill it
Recognizing how planning ahead brings a sense of calm (even if it stresses others out)
Acknowledging how much we need others, despite our differences — because we are, at our core, social beings

This Week’s Theme: Feelings of Deficiency

Let’s take some time to reflect on our own sense of “enough-ness.”
Use these prompts to go deeper into self-understanding:

Do you see your personal areas of growth as a lack or as a part of your learning process?
What distinguishes a feeling of deficiency from a mindset of learning and growth?
When have you felt most sufficient? Was it through accomplishments, positive feedback, or resolving conflict? Why do you think that particular experience stood out?
Deficiency can sometimes feel like the only thing present within us. If that’s how it feels, what do you want to remind yourself about your wholeness — your strength, your uniqueness, and your capacity?

You Are Not Just One Thing

We hope this ongoing series offers you tools to reflect on:

Your values and emotional roots
Your philosophy of life
The gifts you may have thought were “too much” — when they might be exactly what the world needs right now

If you or someone you know needs help understanding mental health, or feels overwhelmed by internal struggles, please reach out to our ‘Support’ and ‘Engage’ verticals for affordable and inclusive care.

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