Therapy Techniques: Controlling Emotions?

As we learn more about mental health and well-being, it becomes important to be aware of tools and techniques we can use daily to take care of ourselves. Mental health includes our emotional, behavioral, social, and cognitive well-being, affecting how we think, feel, and act. While making healthy choices is often emphasized, knowing specific steps that benefit our well-being can be very helpful. Although therapy is conducted by trained professionals, learning basic techniques to apply in daily life can make a difference. iDare aims to raise awareness on this.

Can We Really Control Emotions?

We often hear the phrase “control your emotions.” It’s everywhere. But the truth is — emotions can’t truly be controlled. They can be distracted from, suppressed, repressed, or numbed, but not controlled. What we can do instead is regulate them. This is likely what people mean when they say “control.”

Emotional regulation is very different from trying to control emotions. It equips us with skills to feel, process, and express emotions healthily. When we try to control emotions by burying them, they eventually erupt, often harshly, which is unhealthy.

Many believe that by suppressing or distracting themselves from emotions, they can avoid feeling them. But emotions only accumulate over time — and they’re essential to feeling alive. While people often welcome “positive” emotions like joy, love, or hope, avoiding the so-called “negative” emotions stops growth and keeps us stuck.

It’s understandable that intense emotions can be overwhelming, but wouldn’t it be better to learn to regulate them healthily? This way, we benefit from emotions rather than running away from them — and from life itself.

The STOPP Technique for Emotional Regulation

When intense emotions arise, the STOPP technique helps us pause and become mindful without avoiding our feelings. It’s quick, practical, and can be used anywhere — even stepping away momentarily if needed.

STOPP stands for:

S – Stop: Take a pause.
T – Take a breath: Focus on your breathing—notice your inhales and exhales. Do this as long as needed.
O – Observe: Check in with yourself.
- What am I feeling right now?
- What am I reacting to?
- What physical sensations do I notice?
- Where do I feel them in my body?
  Keep your attention on these sensations.
P – Pull back: Put things in perspective.
- Is this a thought or a fact?
- What is the most reasonable explanation right now?
- How important is this to me now?
- How important will it be in six months?
- What are my options?
- What advice would I give a dear friend in this situation?
P – Practice what works best:
- What’s the best action right now — for me and others?
- Which option aligns with my values?
- Do I need more time to think and respond?

This method helps you pause between feeling an emotion and reacting, allowing healthy expression and choice of action. It’s normal to slip up sometimes, especially when overwhelmed, but consistency helps build this skill.

Movement and Emotional Regulation

Physical activity helps regulate emotions. Yoga, walking, running, dancing, cycling, or any movement that gets you into your body can support emotional balance. Getting out of your head and into your body allows you to feel emotions fully, make space for them, and let them pass naturally.

Emotions in Relationships

Sometimes others around us may be uncomfortable with their own emotions and react in triggering ways. Regulating your emotions can set a healthy example or act as a boundary for yourself in those interactions.

When to Seek Help

While many emotional regulation techniques exist — and you can explore more in our “Feel Your Feelings” therapy techniques — they might not work for everyone. Deep past wounds or overwhelming emotions may require additional support. In such cases, seeking help from a trained professional is crucial.

Please remember: These techniques do not replace professional therapy. If mental health challenges affect daily life, consulting a qualified therapist is essential.

If you or someone you know needs support understanding therapy techniques or is struggling with mental health, consider reaching out to our ‘Support’ and ‘Engage’ verticals for affordable, inclusive help!

Like our content? Please show your support by sharing and upvoting!

Image Credits: Pexels.com