Understanding Abuse: Breaking Free from the Patterns That Hold Us Back

Abuse. The word carries different meanings for each of us.

At home. In office spaces. On social media.
And everywhere in between.

It’s the violation of respect, dignity, consent, and freedom — acts that intentionally cause harm or injury.

In this article, I invite you to join me in exploring what keeps us stuck in unhealthy patterns — and how we can find our way out.

Is This Really Happening?

Have you ever faced moments when:

• Trust you place in loved ones is broken?

• Your needs are ignored, and you’re not seen or heard?

• Your personal space and freedom to choose are violated?

• Acts of physical, verbal, or psychological harm happen towards you?

And when you finally gather courage to speak up, you are called ‘difficult’, ‘demanding’, or ‘ungrateful’?

This can happen with anyone — a caregiver, parent, colleague, friend, spouse, or partner.
When such experiences repeat, it’s natural to question yourself:
Am I imagining this? Is my memory faulty? Am I exaggerating? Shouldn’t I just focus on the good times?

Why Is It Important to Recognize Abuse?

You can only change what you acknowledge.

In the daily chaos, it’s easy to dismiss or overlook your feelings. You might not have the time or space to pause — or fear what acknowledging abuse might reveal, and what actions it might demand.

The silent toll this takes on your mental health, your sense of self, and your outlook on life is immense. You might even start to believe:
This is what I deserve. I am flawed. I cannot do better.

What Keeps the Patterns in Place?

• Fear of speaking up against family or community

• Self-doubt and questioning your worth

• Shame or guilt about past mistakes

• Fear of loneliness or failure

• Moments of peace that give hope for change

Steps Forward

Awareness is the first step.
Recognize and validate your feelings of distress, even if they’re overwhelming.

You may experience flashbacks, nightmares, or frightening thoughts. That’s okay. It’s part of the healing process.

Here are some helpful insights:

• Acknowledging your experience is scary but necessary

• You are not alone — support and resources are available

• Taking small steps can lead to manageable solutions and new beginnings

In Conclusion

When the weight becomes unbearable,
Know you have done enough.
You don’t have to carry this alone.

Your feelings and fears are valid.
Listen to your tears and cries in the dark.

Reach out for help — it’s within your reach.

What seems like an end today
Can become the start of a new beginning,
A future where your dreams can come true.

Cheers, mate! You got this.

If you or somebody you know is struggling and needs to get in touch with a therapist, consider reaching out to our ‘Support’ and ‘Engage’ verticals for affordable and inclusive help!

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