Understanding Our Roots: A Reflection on Identity and Connection
Exploring Ourselves Through the People Who Shaped Us
As we traverse through life—in roles as varied as a mother, teacher, boyfriend, or simply a “liver” as Orry would say—we often delay embracing our own idiosyncratic roots.
In the whirlwind of different roles and phases, it's easy to become consumed by the inferences we draw from everyday outcomes—be it the success of a project, the absence of praise, or the quietness between conversations.
These moments, though seemingly small, often shape how we perceive ourselves and others. And sometimes, we end up being harsh—on ourselves, or on others—for not meeting expectations that weren’t even consciously defined.
The Power of Knowing Ourselves
Before we can truly be present with someone else, in any capacity, it’s important that we take a moment to understand who we are when we’re alone.
This might look like:
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Understanding why silences feel uncomfortable and must be filled immediately
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Recognizing the sense of calm that comes from planning, even if it seems excessive to others
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Accepting that our need for connection isn't a weakness, but part of our human essence—we are, after all, social beings
A Conversation Across Generations
Questions to Ask Your Grandparents
Engaging with your roots isn’t only about introspection—it’s also about reaching outward to those who came before you. Your grandparents hold stories, wisdom, and reflections that can add perspective to your own journey.
Here are some meaningful questions you can ask to spark thoughtful, heartfelt conversations:
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What was your childhood dream?
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What is a cherished memory from your life that always brings a smile to your face?
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Can you describe what life was like when you were my age—including the technology, entertainment, and daily routines?
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What risk are you happy you took?
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What do you want to let go of?
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Is there a hobby or skill you’ve always wanted to try? What’s stopping you from doing it now?
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What makes you happy right now?
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Do you have any family traditions or stories passed down through generations that you can share with me?
Why These Questions Matter
With this ongoing series, we hope to offer prompts and reflections that guide you in understanding your own values, motivations, and beliefs.
The parts of you that may have been dismissed or labeled as “too much” are often the very gifts that make you most needed in this world.
If you or someone you know is navigating questions around identity, connection, or mental health, please consider exploring our ‘Support’ and ‘Engage’ verticals for affordable and inclusive help.
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