Before we begin discussing this topic, I want to ask you a few questions. You must answer these questions honestly. No judgement.   Do you check your bank account more than three times a day? Despite knowing the amount hasn’t changed.   Do you find yourself struggling to spend money on yourself despite having enough?  Do you ever find yourself lying awake in bed at night worrying about finances, even though nothing has changed?  Are you plagued by an anxiety that you can’t quite put your finger on? An anxiety that increases every time you open a bill? Or whenever a friend suggests an expensive dinner?  Are you burdened by feelings of self-loathing about your financial situation, even though you know it is only partly your responsibility?  Do you shun talking about finances with those close to you because it is too difficult a topic?  Do you see your finances as somehow reflective of your identity?  If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these, then this article is meant for you.  What you are carrying is not a money problem. It is a mental health problem. It has a name.  It is called financial trauma. In India, especially, this is a conversation nobody is having.

Is It About Not Having Enough?  Financial trauma is not the same as not having enough. You can get a salary and still feel like you are not safe with money. You can have some money saved and still wake up at 2 am to check your account.   Financial anxiety is not about how much money you have. It is about how you feel about money. Many things shape that feeling. It is about the relationship your nervous system has developed with money over time.  In India, messages about money start early and are loud. What you earn is who you are. Plus, struggle is viewed as shameful. Shame is a powerful emotion that gets in your head and stays.  
What Is Your Body Doing With That Stress?  Chronic stress is not something you feel. Rather, it is what happens to your body.   


When your body perceives a threat, it prepares itself for an attack. The level of cortisol, the chief stress hormone in the human body, rises. Your body tenses up.   


The physical response of increased cortisol  is helpful when the danger is for a short time.    


Financial anxiety is different. Since your body cannot relax, it stays in chronic stress day after day, year after year. It makes it hard to sleep. It affects how well you can remember things.   


Chronic stress also makes it very hard to enjoy the little moments. Your body has carried stress for so long that it no longer knows how to feel safe. Your body never got the message that it was okay to calm down. 

The Shame Makes It Worse   In India, money is not something you use to buy things. It is about how people see you. It is about what people think of you. At family gatherings, your relatives always ask about your money. They imply it along with questions about your job, your house, etc. Shame is the emotion that says I am the problem. Not that I have a problem, but something is fundamentally wrong with me.   Dr Brené Brown, in the outcome of her study, indicated that shame in secrecy. 

We Need To Talk About This. A Lot More.   Financial trauma is not something you can fix easily. Telling someone to budget better or stress less about money solves nothing. Financial trauma is a mental health experience. We need to start treating it like one.   


However, you can change your relationship with money. Not by making more of it. By understanding what financial anxiety is really about, where it affects you, and what it would feel like to relax finally.   


You can stop bracing; you are allowed to let it go.   


At iDare, our counsellors understand that financial trauma and financial anxiety are mental health experiences, not moral failings. If money has been a source of chronic stress for way too long, work through it in therapy with us.